Red Herring


Article by Timp.

One of my favourite interests in life is Biology (no Jay not that type), I am talking Marine Biology. From an early age my interest was sparked by Jaques Cousteau and later on by David Attenborough’s Blue Planet.

A few little known snippets to whet the appetite about my interest. The Blue Whale the largest animal ever to have lived on earth. Although we never hear them they are the loudest animal on the planet. It is thought that they can communicate with each other across distances of up to 1600km, that is approximately 1000 miles for those of you who only deal in pounds shillings and pence.

Another interesting member of marine life is the common or garden Herring. Herring belong to the family Clupeidae, and have played a pivotal role in the history of marine fisheries in Europe.

Reportedly Herring communicate by emitting noises from their rear ends. This means they literally talk out of their arses. (Technically not a back bottom it is called a Cloaca a single all purpose vent, but you get the idea).

This brings me to the latest rants of a silvery slippery figure that goes by the name of Jose Mourinho.

It seems that he can’t get past his Anfield obsession. During the summer he aimed several barely disguised barbs at Jurgen Klopp and Liverpool. I quote ‘Liverpool are buying everything and everybody’. He also sarcastically called both Tottenham and Liverpool ‘serial winners’, as he was criticising the lack of respect he has received for coming second last season.

His latest rant came pre Burnley game when he was asked would he be considered an Old Trafford great even without a title. Part of his reply was to take a swipe at Jurgen Klopp saying that ‘he never wins anything internationally’.

Jurgen replied later by diffusing Jose’s sting by saying ‘I don’t watch Jose Mourinho’s press conferences….. should I’? ‘When he said I haven’t won anything outside of Germany he’s right, that’s easy to see’.

Another classy Jurgen reply to Mourinho’s sly dig and commendably not rising to the bait.

This only highlights Mourinho’s increasing frustrations with his lot and that Liverpool in his eyes are on the ascendency. He is certainly trying to fan the flames of hatred between the two clubs, carrying on the tradition from old blue nose.

With his misguided attempts to bait Jurgen that have so far fallen on deaf ears, this clearly shows that Mourinho’s diatribes emit from his Cloaca.
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